Captainís Personal Log: Stardate 53185.3:
Iím walking around a bridge with a ghost at my side. A ghost of one I canít replace, let alone forget. The crew has been more then supportive of me with our recent loss.
Yet Iím uneasy, and I wonder why.
Part of it, Iím sure is this life I carry inside me. It was the last thing I expected. First off, Iíve lost my first officer. Iíve lost my best friend. Iíve lost the father of my child.
Chakotay would tell me not to grieve. That I needed and had to go on. Most of the crew is doing such. I have such a remarkable group standing beside me. BíElanna and Tom are closer then ever. Yet, this ship doesnít feel like a ship full of children anymore. It feels empty.
The death of Chakotay is like an open wound. It feels like Iíve left the noblest part of myself back there, in the cold confines of space. Floating for all eternity.
Kathryn Janeway moved to her chair and spared the seat beside hers a glance. It still remained empty. Tuvok was in all essence, her first officer, but he decided until further notice, heíd remain at his post, handling the tactical situation.
Her secret, was even now being speculated about. Tom had noticed it first. Since the night of Chakotayís service, Kathryn Janeway had been absently running her hand over her stomach, sometimes just resting it there, other times, caressing it. Tom had hypothesized to BíElanna, that it was like she was comforting a child. BíElanna had taken notice of it soon afterwards, as had Harry and Seven. Even Neelix had made a quiet comment that she looked sad, yet happy at the same time.
No one voiced their opinions. They just knew that there was more going on then just a captain in mourning.
Then Tom found it. The record on tricorder of the night that Chakotay died. His own assumption was correct. That she hadnít taken a booster in two years. Chakotay in four months. Tom smiled sadly to himself. He had had no idea that they had become intimate. It was a unique situation. As he worked, he made a silent vow to Chakotay, that he would make it *his* responsibility to watch over her.
And Kathryn Janeway went on.
The Senpicol found the floating tube. They were the self designated guardians of the region space they were now flying through. They had run scans on the tube, noted the content being the body of that of a unknown species. They theorized that the whoever had left this tube with the body was much like themselves. That space burial was a highly regaled device.
The planet by the name of allre-azialn translated loosely into Creation, was where they took the tube. Here, the soul would wander the beauty of planet. That was their belief. There was only one problem; the soul was with the one who needed him. Not his mortal remains.
They knew not who this man was, only that his kind believed him to be worthy of eternal travel of the stars. On Creation, there was always the possibility that he would once again see them with his own eyes.
Voyager was too badly damaged to continue her journey as she was. Neelix, along with Harry and Seven, had found a Star cluster near where they had jettisoned Chakotay into space. Kathryn hated the idea of going back. But she knew that Voyager wouldnít get far without some major repairs.
Kathryn had contacted the Senpicol people and found them to be to her liking. Their nearest neighbors, the Meadarit, though were warlike and distrustful. It reminded Kathryn of a cross between the Klingons and Kazon. As far as Kathryn could tell, the crux of their problems lie with a planet named, "Creation". It sat on a finely drawn border. Both had laid claim to it. As far as Kathryn could tell, there was no real reason why they should be fighting over it.
". . .of course, Captain Janeway. We would be more then happy to help you out with repairs. It is unfortunate that you have to go so far to go home."
Captain Janeway smiled at the older man on the screen. She ran a hand across her stomach and one probed her forehead. "I must admit, it has become a hindrance."
"I think we can work out an agreement." The man looked at her and smiled back. "Iíd be willing to allow you use of our base for restocking. Your science teams could survey our planets."
"And what would you like in exchange?" Kathryn asked.
"A chance to work on your vessel. Perhaps share technology." The older man spread his hands before him. "If this is acceptable?"
Kathryn smiled at him, nodded. "Of course it is. We appreciate any and all help you can give us."
"Very good, Captain Janeway. If you could allow us to tap into your helm control, we can pull your ship into one of our repair bays."
"No problem." Kathryn looked at Tom. "Mr. Paris, give them control." She ended the transmission with the station manager, with an agreement to meet with him tomorrow for breakfast. She turned to Tuvok as she made her way to the turbo lift. "Tuvok, the bridge is yours. Please relay any information the Senpicol might need. Iíll be in my quarters." Tuvok nodded his head and watched as his captain left.
Kathryn stepped in and allowed herself to sag against the wall when the doors to the bridge shut her away from view. "Deck five." She ordered. It was times like these when she wished the most for Chakotay to be with her.
Little did she know he was.