She sat in semi-darkness. Her mind was far away from Voyager and it’s present condition. Kathryn’s mind and soul were drifting in the endless quiet of space. In front of her on the coffee table, was a bottle of straight Vodka, beside that, a half full glass of the liquid.
In her hand, was a simple silver pocket watch. A birthday gift from Chakotay. She turned it over in her hands, admiring the work he had added to the replicated watch. She remembered that when he gave it to her, that she almost rejected it, citing that it was costing unnecessary power. He had put it in her hand and told her that for once, he was disobeying orders.
"I’m not recycling it." He told her. Then Chakotay had walked away. She had been mad, but the next day, when Kathryn appeared on the bridge, the watch hung from around her waist. She wore it proudly.
Now, however. The feeling of taking the watch and slamming it to pieces was high in her mind. But she knew she wouldn’t. It was him. His precious gift to her. The last tangible gift he’d given her. So she had thought.
chime
"Come in." Kathryn said, rising. In front of her, the doctor appeared, wearing his holo-emitter.
"I trust you’ve been resting, as I prescribed." He said. He walked over to her.
"Yes." She picked up the glass of Vodka and began lifting it to her lips. The doctor reached out and grabbed the glass.
"Doctor. . ." She began.
"No liqueur, captain. Not only is it doctor’s orders, but it won’t bring back the commander." He took it into her bathroom, along with the bottle that had been sitting on the table. She started to protest as he dumped the contents into the sink.
"Why did you do that?" She asked.
"I’ll answer that, captain, but I have a question for you?"
"Yes?" Kathryn asked. She didn’t like having her actions monitored by the doctor.
"When was your last booster?"
Kathryn stopped her oncoming tirade in mid thought. "Booster?"
"Birth control booster, captain?"
"I—I don’t know. A couple of—years." Realization hit her. "No. No, that isn’t possible."
"I took the scan while you were sleeping in sickbay two nights ago. Though it’s extremely early, yes." He cocked his head in a manner Kathryn had regarded as his actual concerned look. "I don’t know if I should congratulate you or offer my condolences." He looked at her stunned expression. "It is the commanders child, isn’t it."
"Yes." Kathryn whispered.
"Then start taking care of yourself. You need to get the grieving out of the way, or you won’t be healthy."
"I can’t think." She said, turning toward the view port.
"Then begin doing so. You have time for any—decision you may need to make." He turned to the door. "Believe me when I say this, captain: I’m sorry for your loss, for the ships loss. But if it were me in your situation, I’d keep it."
"I’ll keep it under advisement." She said. "Thank you." The doctor left her to her thoughts. She continued staring out the window, her hand sliding across her stomach.
"Oh, Chakotay. What am I going to do?"