The Donor

I thought it was time I finally answered my own challenge, about putting J/C in a favorite romantic scene of from a movie. Problem was, I couldnít fine one I really liked. So, I rented some movies the other day and I rented a foreign film called "Antoniaís Line". So, I came up with an idea. Only one little scene, the one in the hotel actually comes from the movie. (The bouncing, sex and handstandÖdonít ask, just read)

Disclaimer: Paramount knows all, owns all. Wait, Iím the one that knows all.

"The Donor"

By Mindy


"You have two choices. Get pregnant, which should correct the problem. Or you could opt for the hysterectomy, which would also correct the problem." The EMH said, looking at a PADD, full of the patients records.

"Iím not to happy with either of those options, doctor." Kathryn Janeway said, crossing her legs and rubbing her forehead. "Iím not ready to have a baby, nor do I want to undergo surgery."

"Captain, I gave you the options of what could happen if the hormonal therapy didnít work. These two are your last options." The doctor said.

"Can I think about it?" Kathryn said.

"Of course, captain. But if you opt for getting pregnant, you should be informed that you need to start trying almost immediately. If you do decide on becoming pregnant, you only have a window of a few months at best to become so. If you canít become pregnant, then hysterectomy is the only option." Kathryn looked at him with disbelieving eyes.

"Iíll get back to you soon." Kathryn said, standing up.

As she left sickbay, her mind was in a whirl. Sheíd always had problems, but in the past few years, they had steadily become worse. A quick diagnosis from the doctor and he put her on hormonal therapy, in an attempt to relieve the problems and the pain. She sighed realizing that it hadnít worked.

She had a lot to think about.

**

"Iíve opted for trying to get pregnant." Kathryn said a couple days later. She had come to the decision somewhat painlessly. Her rational had told her that one way or the other, a hysterectomy was the possible result. If she were to lose her chance for a family, then she would try for it. She had told herself if she were successful, then the agony that came once a month, the hormonal therapy, was worth it.

"Very good, captain. Have you thought about how you want to go about it?" The doctor inquired, getting a hypo-spray from his tray.

She looked up at him. "Actually, no. I hadnít." Sheíd been truthful.

"Well, there is the conventional manner, which I would suggest highly. Or their is artificial insemination." He administered the hypo to Kathrynís neck.

"Whatís that?" She asked.

"Hormone treatment." Doc answered.

"But you said they were useless. Why keep administering them?" She asked.

"It increases your chances of conceiving. I want you to have the full possibility of this being a success."

"Any words of wisdom or advice?" Kathryn said.

"I would suggest that you, donít try for an inter-species baby. Human would be preferable." Doc said. Kathryn began to leave. "Captain, Iím going to down load all the male crewmen on board that are human in case you decide on the artificial insemination method. That way, you can pick a suitable candidate."

Kathryn half smiled as she left sickbay.

**

". . .high intelligence. Potential for insecurity." Kathryn sighed as she put the latest evaluation down from the doctor. She had had a pile of seventy-five possible donors, should she decide to go that way. So far, she had found only one compatible male. He wasnít prone to illness. Intelligent, perceptive. He was charming, loyal, dedicated. He cared, had a deep sense of empathy. Cultured, loyal to his beliefs. Only one problem.

It was her first officer.

Kathryn sighed again. She picked up the PADD containing the information on Chakotay. His medical history, back ground. It wasnít as if she hadnít entertained the idea of him and her together, it was she just wasnít sure if she wanted a family with him. But the doctor said it would be better if she did it conventionally.

She made her decision.

**

"You wanted to talk to me, Kathryn?" Chakotay said.

"Uhm, yes. I wanted to know if you wanted to go on shore leave with me?" She said. Kathryn hadnít turned from her view port. She could see his reflection behind her.

"You? Youíre taking shore leave? Are you ill?" He asked in mock horror. Kathryn Janeway never took shore leave.

ĎIf only you knew.í She thought. "No. I just thought it would be fun for you and me to have a day off. Tuvok will be up here." She shrugged. "It will be fun."

"Iíll look forward to it." Chakotay said.

Kathryn turned and watched his retreating form. A lone tear trickled down her cheek. "So do I." She whispered.

**

ĎI wonít allow myself to feel. I wonít allow myself to fall in love with him.í Kathryn thought to herself as she walked through the market place with Chakotay. They had been having a nice day so far. Sheíd found a necklace that she had become enchanted with.

Chakotay knew something was on her mind, but she hadnít said anything. Kathryn had been relatively quiet for the past week or so. He didnít know why and he wasnít going to press the subject. He had made a conscious effort to not push, not press, Kathryn.

"Iím sorry, what were you saying?" Chakotay asked, focusing his attention back on Kathryn.

"Tuvok said they had a problem with the overhaul in the transporter system. He said weíd have to spend the night on the planet." Kathryn said. Tuvok, her oldest and dearest friend, had been let in, to some extent on her plan.

"Are you going to have a problem with that?" Chakotay asked, searching her eyes for his answer.

"No. Weíre adults. Iím sure we can handle this situation as such."

**

She sat down on the bed. They had found the equivalent to a hotel rather easily. She bounced up and down on it, something she had done since she was a child with a new bed. She did it to test the comfort. She was nervous. Very nervous.

Chakotay came out of the other room, apparently the bathroom and leaned against the door jam, watching her bounce. This whole situation still bothered him. Never, in her right mind, would Kathryn consent to sharing a room, let alone the one single bed in the room. Chakotay had already figured heís sleep on the chair or the floor, giving the bed to Kathryn.

Kathryn turned and looked at him. She smiled a lovely smile at him. She wiped her hands on her dress, her palms sweating.

He looked at her, and smiled back. Their eyes locked. Kathryn knew it was time.

**

She stared up into his eyes as he rocked back and forth. Her hand were on his sides, his up by her head, gently brushing her hair away from her forehead. There had been very little preliminary work made of this. She had held out her hand to him and he had taken it.

As she stared into his eyes, she kept repeating her mantra, that she would not fall in love with him, that she couldnít fall in love with him. She kept thinking that. Not once had they kissed yet. It was the one act in this play of hers she didnít want to come.

Then he did. He kissed her. First by licking her lips, dipping his tongue into her mouth, then looking into her eyes. His head descended upon hers again and she knew sheíd lost. Her eyes closed and she kissed him back.

The mantra quit repeating.

**

He slept. Kathryn had her head propped up on her elbow, looking down at him. She smiled as she looked upon him. A fine physical specimen. Big, yet gentle. She had, never felt so well loved. Without words, he had given his all, himself to her. Questions turned in her mind. What would happen if she were successful in becoming pregnant? What would that do to Chakotay and her relationship? She knew she was going to have to come clean. But sheíd think about the consequences later.

She looked at the peaceful face, the lines of the tattoo on his forehead. The long nose, the full lips. Kathryn put her hand on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the smoothness of him. She decided she needed it one more time. She tapped her fingers against his chest. He grunted, but didnít wake.

Kathryn lightly slapped at his chest, which brought him around. Chakotay looked at her and he smiled. She smiled back.

"Once more. Come on." Was all she said. Chakotay obliged. He rolled over on top of her, her thighs parting around him. He began kissing her. This time, Kathryn was receptive. She chased after his lips when he pulled away, her arms were restless against his sides and back.

This time, she made love with her heart.

**

It was old fashioned, she knew. A theory from centuries past. But she was willing to do anything, no matter how strange it was. Chakotay lie asleep in the bed. Kathryn, was standing on her hands, her feet against the wall. She hadnít even bothered with her clothes. Stark naked, upside down on her hands, she bounced up and down, as if it would help her conceive. She felt stupid doing it, but it had capped up a strange experience. She figured all she needed was for him to wake up and start laughing at her.

She continued to bounce on her arms. She wanted thisóneeded this, so much. After a concentrated moment, as if willing her body and Chakotayís gift to find the mutual destination, she pushed off the wall with her feet and landed on them. Kathryn seriously considered dressing and leaving Chakotay, but something held her back.

Kathryn removed a sheet and wrapped it around her body. She walked over to the window seat and sat down.

Praying that what she wanted would happen, she watched the sun set and the moon rise over the nearby hills.

**

He turned over and reached for Kathryn, finding the bed beside him empty. Chakotay opened his eyes. It hadnít been planned. He let his eyes adjust to the sparse light and he saw her. She sat in the window seat, looking up at the sky. He thought about how beautiful she looked. He got up and wrapped a blanket around his waist and walked over to her.

"Kathryn?" He questioned. She turned her head and looked at him. He saw evidence of tears running down her face. He sat down beside her, reaching out for her hand. "Kathryn, whatís wrong? Why are you crying?"

"IóI feel soóhorrid." She said. Her chest hitched.

"Look, we didnít plan on this. I understand." He didnít really, but he didnít want her to cry, to be upset. "If youíre not ready for this, I understand. I wonít pressure you."

" It isnít that." She looked back outside again. " I thought I could do this. I thought I could sleep with you and not fall in love. I was wrong. I was so damn wrong."

"Kathryn, everyone needs to have physical relations. We can go slow, we can do what ever you want. Itís up to you."

"It isnít that!" She cried. "I used you. I used you to get what I wanted, to. . ."

"To get what you wanted? What are you talking about?" Chakotay didnít like the direction in which the conversation was going. Kathryn took a deep breath.

"Iíve been on hormone therapy for months, Chakotay, to correct a problem that only gets worse. Doc told me it may not work. It didnít, so he gave me two alternatives. Hysterectomy or. . .getting pregnant." Kathryn looked up at him. "Iíve always wanted a family, but I saw it slipping through my fingers. After close scrutiny and thought, you were the only one I could even think of fathering a child." Chakotay got up and began pacing.

"So, you only slept with me so I could be your sperm donor. You werenít going to tell me, were you?" He stopped and looked at her. Kathryn stood up and stood before him.

"No, you wereóare more to me then a sperm donor. I could have had it done through artificial insemination. But even then, I still wouldíve picked you." She put her hands on his shoulder, to make him look at her. "I thought I could go through with it, sleep with you, leave you here, go back to ship and pretend nothing happened."

"Nothing happened? Kathryn, wouldnít you think Iíd put one and one together if you did end up pregnant?"

"No, I never thought that. I would have told you."

"When, Kathryn? When you came onto the bridge in a maternity uniform?" He turned from her.

Kathryn sank to her knees and really began to cry. He turned to see her. "Isnít it enough that I picked you? I need this." She looked up at him. "I never wanted to deceive you. All I wanted was a chance. A chance to have something I see women doing on Voyager. I have no one. Everyone and everything I care about is so far away. But a babyÖ"

"You donít care for me?" Chakotay asked her.

"I told you. I thought I could do this without falling in love with you. Then you kissed me, you kissed me and it changed. I felt. I understood. The whole purpose changed. It wasnít just sex anymore. It was more. A lot more."

Chakotay sank to the floor beside her and pulled her into his arms. "What happens now, Kathryn? What if you do end up pregnant? Where do we stand? Are you going to let me be a part of the childís life? Do you want me to fade quietly into the background? I need answers."

Kathryn stared into his eyes. She wiped at her nose with the back of her hand. "We take it slow. We canít take back this, no matter the outcome. Weíve stepped over that threshold, and we canít go back to the way it was. I wouldnít expect it. If I do end up pregnant, yes, I want you to be a part of itís life. I wouldnít want you to be an observer."

Chakotay pulled her to him and held her. He had no idea she had so much at stake. He didnít know that she was hurting.

They made the most of the rest of the night.

**

Kathryn sat on the bio-bed, awaiting Chakotayís arrival. She wasnít sure, but she had a feeling. She had hailed him, telling him of her intention. He told her that he would meet her in a few minutes. She sat apprehensively, almost as much as that day over a month ago in an alien hotel room.

Chakotay rushed in, breathless. He came around to the bio-bed as the doctor came out of the office.

"Are you ready, captain?" The doctor asked. She nodded her head and reached for Chakotayís hand.

The doctor ran the tricorder over her head to foot. He closed it, took a hypo and administered it to Kathrynís neck. She knew she had failed, that the doctor had given her another hormonal treatment. Kathrynís heart sank. Chakotay squeezed her hand.

"Well, captain. Your blood pressure is normal. Stress levels are a little high and what I must say, a marked improvement. Heart rate is good." He turned away. "And your baby is developing normally for a six week fetus."

"What did you say?" Kathryn whispered.

"I think what I basically said, was congratulations. Youíre pregnant." Chakotay pulled Kathryn into his arms and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back, her eyes squeezed shut, a huge smile on her face. ". . . and youíre going to have to start. . ." Doc continued, then turned to see the display of emotion.

"Well, I guess I know now who the father is. I guess I *could* offer congratulations, but it appears that my services arenít needed right now."



**Finis**



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